j ----> J

以前在家的时候，妈妈每次都会摸着我的手，一边碎碎念的说：“你的手又白又滑！人家一看就知道是没有做过家务的手。”

Remember years ago, my mom love to touch my hands and say:"Look at your hand, silky and white. With these hands, people will definitely knew that you are those type of people who never did any housework."

是啊，当时的双手的确嫩又滑。可不是吗？以前没事的时候，我总喜欢把乳液擦在双手，香香的，滑滑的。闲空的时候，应该说几乎每天，就坐在电视机前面，边看电视，边涂指甲油。心血来潮的时候，也会帮益隆太太服务，帮她涂指甲油，帮她指甲彩绘，画花朵。。

Indeed... What I used to do, is keep pasting creams on my hands. When I'm free, no, suppose to be everyday, I used to sit in front of the television, watching tele and coloring my nails. When I'm in the mood, I will help my mom to color her nails as well as drawing some flowers on it.

我记得每次帮益隆太太涂指甲油过后，不到两天，就开始脱落。我当时百思不解，每次问妈妈为什么指甲油到了她的手上总是很快脱落。她总会很无奈的说 “我是有做家事的人，双手碰到水或是洗衣粉当然会脱落，不像你命好，什么事都不用做！”。当时的我在想，我买的指甲油都是贵但实用的，所以不会是它的问题；做家务？我每天洗澡的时候，也碰到水，也用沐浴乳，又不见得我的指甲油像她一样，那么容易掉落。

The thing is that, when I used to color my moms nails, no matter which brand of nail polish I have chosen, it will always fade or drop very soon, and I mean, VERY SOON. I tend to feel weird and keep asking my mom for the reason? And she always goes "You know, I do works, I clean and wash, not like you, always do nothing!" In those days, I always get confuse because I am using the same nail polish, but it always last forever. With those reasons she gave, I always assumed that was absurd and nonsense.

知道最近我发现到非常恐怖的一件事情。。

Until recently, I actually discovered something really scary and creepy...

虽然我身在英国，那个爱每天涂指甲油的死性还是不改！每次擦，每次觉得自己手上的死皮越来越多，而且还有干裂的状况，我发誓，真的很恐怖。我看着我的双手，心里很害怕，一直像为什么会这样？！

Though I am now far away from home, the habit of changing nail colors daily is still valid and keep proceeding! Yet, every single time when I change the color, the more dead skin I discovered on my fingers. I swear, this thing freaks me out!!! I feel incredibly scary and have no clue where does it comes from!

后来，我终于找出端倪。。在这不比在家啊！以前，回到家，衣服一脱往洗衣篮一丢，拍拍屁股便是走人；肚子饿了只要喊“妈咪”，要吃什么有什么；房间脏了，嘴巴一张又工人收拾。任何大小事，电话一拨就自然有人会搞定，任何事情都迎仞而解。。。

Eventually, I've found the real factor... Blindingly obvious that my life in UK is entirely different from home. The day before..... Once I got home, take off my clothes, throw it into the laundry basket and leave immediately. Washing clothes?? Never ever appear in my "to-do-list" and I always thought that I was a nature, something happen naturally. When I am hungry I just need to open my bedroom door and shout :"Mom, I want food!". When my room is messy, I will sitting on the cosy sofa and my maid will clean it for me. I wasn't really worry about anything because once I make a call, everything will be settled by the cutest secretary in the world!

这里，衣服一样回到家就脱了丢进洗衣篮，但是却得自己洗。肚子饿了，喊破喉咙叫妈咪是没有人回应我的，没有选择，只有自己煮给自己吃。更糟的是食物还不一定是自己想吃的，有时想要吃肉骨茶，想吃泰式鸡饭和珍珠奶茶还有榴莲，唯一的办法就是把自己打晕，然后到梦里去吃个痛快！房间脏了，没有工人让我使唤，灰尘马桶自己清，卫生纸没有工人自动换，掉落的头发塞住了通水道也没有人帮忙，只能自己蹲下自己挖！任何大小事，都凭自己的双脚走，自己的双手做。

In UK, I retain the same habit, take off my clothes and throw it into the laundry basket. The difference is that there will be no one to wash it for me but myself. When I am hungry, there will be no one cooking for me no matter how many times I shout "Mom". When my room is messy and dusty? The only thing I can do is to fold up my sleeves and start to clean my own instead of waiting for my maid who will never appear here. What I am proud of myself is that when the shower drain is stucked with dirts and hairs, I squat down and clean those dirts by myself! :DD

以前回到家，可以跟我姐，黄辣椒看电视读时尚杂志，我们可以因为很笨很无聊的事情疯狂的大笑，也会因为很微不足道的事情吵架，然后再和好。在这里回到家，面对的是四面墙，没有人，没有声音，好可怕！以前在家，无聊的时候就去捉弄我的小狗，Pinky，让她生气，逗她玩；现在无聊了，只能去运动，吃着零食上网看戏。

I remember that I used to stay at home sitting on the sofa watching tele and reading fashion magazines with my sister. We laugh with the maximum volume about those silly stuff or we quarrel with each other because of the most stupid reason in the world. We then apologize with each other again later. In the UK, once I got home, all I am facing is those boring walls, without anyone nor sounds, which freaks me out sometimes! When I was at home, I can make fun with my little Pinky. Whilst now, the only choice that I have is going for exercise, eating snaks, sipping coke or wine, watching youtube programme when I am boring.

从小到大，从有没有到拥有自己很大的房间，这十八年来都是跟益隆太太睡同一间房间，睡同一张床，抢同一张被！这也同时意味着我拥有了十八年的私人按摩师。因为每次晚上睡前，我说：“妈妈，扒背！”或是 “妈妈，我腰骨又痛了”，益隆太太总是会说：“你他妈的！”，然后默默把手申到我的睡衣里，帮我扒背和按摩。有的时候很好笑，益隆太太很爱睡的时候被我叫扒背和按摩，她都会很勉强的帮我按，然后忽然停下。有时候会敷衍扒两下就赶快把手收走，有时就索性意思意思的把手搁在我的背上，继续睡去。。

I have been sleeping in the same room, laying on the same bed and using the same blanket with my mom since the day I born. In a sense that I have been having a personal massage assistant for 18 years cause every time before I sleep and I go "Mom, massage" or "Mom, my backbones is hurting again", my mom will first say "screw you", then put her hands on my back silently and start the massage treatment in the next minute. The main point here is that I am having FREE massage with no time limit!

以前晚餐通常都是工人把饭菜送到楼上客厅，好让我边看电视边吃饭享受。但每到阿隆哥从国外回家的时候，我总是喜欢跑到楼下，整家人在厨房一起吃饭，听阿隆哥在外经历的故事，最爱听他说道理。这男人，每次都幽默的说教，既而成为全天下我最尊敬，最服从的男人。

My maid used to send my meals to the the second floor instead of me, walking down to the dining room so that I can enjoy my food and watching tele at the same time. But when my dad comes back from oversea, I will always rush down and have dinner with my family, listen to those stories that my dad had had when he was traveling around and I LOVE all his sharing thoughts, forever.

以前中学时期，我和几个死党组成“反派党”。其中一位成员－－不来恩（Bryant），他是我们当中最早考到驾驶执照的人，所以我们每次都会胁迫和狭持他载我们去吃东西！没有选择的情况下，他每次只能乖乖就范。我最爱叫他载我去买珍珠奶茶和肯德鸡，乱婆最爱去Mega Hotel吃点心。。那时侯的我们，思想很单纯，友谊自然也单纯。我们之间，没有所谓的“秘密”，我们分享大部分的人生，我们喜欢用一样的东西，我们讲属于我们自己才会明白的笑话和语言。我们因为其中一个人开心而开心，伤心而伤心。我很幸运，因为这种不曾因时间而改变的友谊，我在对的时间，遇上对的朋友，就这样，我幸福的拥有全世界最珍贵的友谊。任何事，物都不能取代的友情。

During my secondary school, I met all my best friend gang in my life. We formed a group and there is one of the members--Bryant, he is the first guy beyond us who got his driving license. Therefore, for our own benefits, we always force him to fetch us for lunch. He have no choice but to get into the car and drive us to wherever we wanna go! :DD We were so simple and naive at those time, we have no such thing as "secret", we share most of our lives and stories, we love using the same thing, we say those words and make those particular jokes which will only understand by each of us! I am definitely lucky, cause I have such a friendship which will never ever change due to the flowing time. Meeting the right friends at the right moment proves that I am the luckiest person in the world who have such a friendship! There is nothing able to change the friendship, and I mean, nothing..

这些小小的琐碎事，看似平凡，却是让我成为小幸福的其中一个很重要的元素。亲爱的你们，我好爱你们！！我爱你们为我做的每一件事情，我爱你们成为我生命的一部分，我爱你们给我的每一个回忆！！有你们，我很幸福，很幸福，很幸福！

These all little things, seems so normal in life. But you know, if I really summing up all those people and stuff together, it will be the real reasons which make my life so meaningful and beautiful. Dear all, you know, I love you all, very very much!! I love every thing that you guys did for me, love you guys being a part of my life, loving every single memory that you guys gave to me!!! 

随时间流逝，现在的我，眼前的一切都大不相同。回到家没有姐陪我大笑陪我吵架，没有妈妈陪我喝下午茶，帮我按摩，煮东西给我吃，没有爸爸给我说教讲道理，没有朋友陪我一起痴，一起狂，没有工人服侍和打理生活的一切事物。回到家，面对的只有那冰冷的四面墙。

As time goes by, things changed and become so much different compare to the time before. Nowadays, no ones there fight with me, no free massage assistant, no one cook for me, no one hi-tea with me, no one do silly things me with, no one helps me out to clean and tidy the room. Everytime I arrived my room, all I have is those icy walls.

无可奈何花落去，似曾相识燕归来。人生会拥有，也会失去，无可奈何，不可避免。我曾放不下那些我失去的一切（如我和朋友们的回忆），或是我暂时无法得到的一切（如父母的陪伴）。我曾难受，曾哭泣，曾孤单，曾害怕。

This is all about life. You will certainly gain something yet you will also lose another thing at the same time. No choice, no way to avoid. There was a time, I was having difficulty to accept those things that I've lost (such as those sweet memories), or those things I have lost temporarily (like the company of my family and friends). I feel sad, feel like crying, feel lonely, feel unsecure...

但是日子，总是要过的。这一切，是我人生必修的课程，既然躲不过，我会勇敢坚强的面对。带着每一个你们给我的回忆，你们给我的爱和支持继续往前走，幸福的抱着希望走下去！

However, life is continuing no matter what. This is exactly the lesson that I have to learn out of the textbook. I can't predict what will happen as well as avoid. So the only way I have is be stronger enough to face the truth. I will go along, together with all those memories, all those courages and support. Go along, with my aggregation of happiness...

－ － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － － 

With Love,

J.C.

P.s

以前我痛恨别人说我是大小姐。每次听到那些三姑六婆说我是小姐的时候，心里就会有团无明火涌在心头。现在往回头一看，想一想，以前的我，的确是什么都不懂的井底蛙。但是现在，不同了，不再是靠别人过日子的小姐，我是靠自己的智慧和努力而奋斗的小鸟，关不住的鸟儿！

I hate when people say that I am a little princess at home before. But now when I looked back and try to think about it, I suppose I kinda was, the girl who knew nothing and always living in my own world. But now, things are different! I'm not the kind of girl who needs help for every little thing. I am developing more than I can, to do things by my own abilities.


I am small, but I am strong. :DD

正在翱翔中，努力变得强大中。。。。

I'm flying, like a bird, in the whole blue sky, happily, freely....

Xoxo